Good things!

Still dealing with too much pain and discomfort - my primary care physician feels pretty confident that I have Fybromyalgia.  However, I still have to see the arthritis specialist for more testing.  The final outcome is that I just want to live a healthy, active life - really what we all want!  On 2 new types of medications this week and seeing some improvement - YIPPEE!!!!!

I can't help but think about those who may not have such optimism or the options of trying new medications.  Is there always reason to hope or does there come a time when "we know", we just know?  I have watched 3 friends die in the last several years of cancer.  I can't even begin to explain what an experience that was.  The change starts immediately once someone finds out that they are facing cancer.  It's like God covers the person completely and they seem so strong.  Then, there is this peace that takes over and they seem to know and see things that we don't.  Watching my friends wasn't a scary experience at all, it was amazing and my heart was forever affected.

                         

                                                   Ellie has noticed that she has gained a few pounds!

                                                           This just makes me happy!

Despite all of the pain and discomfort, there have been so many blessings too!  The wonderful friends and family who call to pray for me and encourage me to stay focused.  I really believe that a person's attitude can make a lot of difference in the outcome of certain situations.  I also know that God is all that I need, at all times, in every situation.

Thanks for listening...until next time :)

Help Wanted - Everyday!

Borrowed from Beth Moore ~ Breaking Free, Day by Day.

When my sweet daddy had a stroke, I rode with him in the ambulance.  The paramedics were wonderful and, although I appreciated what they did in our period of crisis, we didn't trade phone numbers or plan to have lunch.

Sometimes we approach God the same way.  He gets us through an emergency, and we appreciate it.  But we don't necessarily stay in close touch once the trouble passes.  It is not during crisis, however, that we develop an appreciation for God's presence.  Pure appreciation for His presence emerges from the daily walk, in the mundane more than the miraculous.

Happy are the people who know the joyful shout:  Lord, they walk in the light of Your presence.  Psalm 89:15

Isn't it amazing that we know exactly who to run to when tragedy strikes?  If only it were so automatic to run to Him when things are going well.  He wants us ANYTIME!

I'm not writing this story!

My Aunt recently sent me a book titled, "One Thousand Gifts" ~ A dare to LIVE FULLY right where you are.  It has me thinking...can I come up with 1000 gifts?  Is anyone REALLY happy right where they are?  Doesn't it seem ungrateful to always want more, expect more and believe you deserve more?

I am in a lot of physical pain most of the day.  Waiting to see a specialist to figure out what is going on.  It is my challenge to be grateful for every day even though they might be filled with pain, fear and uncertainty.  My life is a gift.  I have AT LEAST 1000 reasons to be thankful.

"And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called
according to his purpose."  Romans 8:28

I don't understand why I am in so much pain but I do know that my life is His plan.  He has a reason for everything. 

Meet Ellie!

Ellie is my sweet, sweet baby girl.  I have never had a pet that I bonded with like her.  She is such great company and just a sweetheart!

The good ~ the bad and the ugly

"Shall we indeed accept good from God and not accept adversity?"  Job 2:10

Gimme the good, I'll skip the bad please!  Sounds like I am ordering in a restaurant. 

Wouldn't that be easy?  Or would it?  What if...we never had money problems, employment issues, marital tension OR children with special needs?  Would life be perfect?  I think not!!

Why me?  Why not me?  Having life struggles help remind us that we are not in charge AT ALL.  Believe me, I have tried to control my life all by myself and it did not work AT ALL.  In our darkest, scariest times we realize that our peace does not come from within.  It comes from God.

My son is currently residing at a facility designed to teach life skills and a trade so that these special young people can have fulfilling and productive lives.  My son came home during Christmas break and I realized that I had put all of my eggs in one basket.  Just because my son completes this program does not mean that he is ready or even close to ready to face the real world of employment and relationships.  What was I thinking?  Ready for the "good" and done with the "bad".  Not so fast missy!

I have come to realize that I am afraid of the unknown.

I, the Lord your God, hold your right hand and say to you. 
 "Do not fear, I will help you."  Isaiah 41:13

It's okay with God for you to be scared to death.  He recognizes our fears and our insecurities.  I feel like the Spirit of God sometimes says to me, "You know, Kristi, I understand that you're not very happy about this.  I understand that you may be crying over this.  Cry, shake, whatever-but do My will, child.  Do My will.  I have victory for you."

I am afraid.  But, I trust you God and I know I am not alone.

Aches and Pains

In most life experiences, we hopefully learn to have more empathy for those who may walk in our shoes one day.  I know that going through divorce taught me to be less critical of those in a similar situation.  Many times, we think we KNOW what is going on in others' lives - but we DON'T.  Being judged by others was a very isolating experience but the reality is we are judged every day.  My heart aches for others who are in pain, whether physical or mental.   Why can't we cut each other some slack?  Am I really in a position to tell anyone what they are doing right or wrong?  The truth is that I may have life experiences that can offer insight but condemnation or judgment ISN'T my job. 

"Whoever claims to love God yet hates a brother or sister is a liar.  For whoever does not love their brother and sister, whom they have seen, cannot love God, whom they have not seen.  And he has given us this command:  Anyone who loves God must also love their brother and sister.  1 John 4:20-21

I have been dealing with a lot of physical pain for the last 6 months.  At first, I tried to ignore it and explain it away as a pulled muscle or I slept wrong.  But, it has become unbearable.  The dreaded "F" word came up at the doctor yesterday...fibromyalgia.  Just my luck to get something that really isn't understood!  Started new medication yesterday, heading to a specialist soon and taking one day at a time.  Another new experience to share with others and a "achy, painful" body to go with it!

Blessings

Tonight my husband and I went to our weekly bible study.  It was emotional, educational and endearing.  There's something "awesome" about praying for someone who is sitting next you; someone who is hurting or scared or just needs support.  We all need prayer!  I realized that blessings are often associated with "good" events but I cannot tell you how many blessings have come out of "bad" situations in my own life.  Unimaginable growth has taken place as a result of hardship.  I wouldn't trade those life lessons for anything.

Grateful for ALL of my blessings!

Simplicity

There's something very appealing about being "simple".  Have you ever seen someone open their wallet (mostly women) and look for their i.d. or a credit card and millions (ok, that was an exageration) of receipts, papers with phone numbers and such fall out?  I don't know how you can function if your wallet is in that kind of condition!  My mind doesn't think "neat and tidy" if my home, desk at work and yes, my wallet aren't "neat and tidy" also.  I think it might be a control thing.  We all know that life isn't neat and tidy but isn't it easier when we keep things simple? 

What has happened to us?  Does it take emergencies, death, illness or life-changing events to make life-changing decisions to live simply?  Today I was off from work - I did NOTHING!  I slept until I woke up naturally and relaxed the rest of the day.  Does the house need to be cleaned?  Yes.  Do I have errands to run?  Yes.  Could I have filled my day with endless chores?  Absolutely.  But I wanted to rest.  I need rest.

A few months ago, my 7 1/2 year old neighbor died from a brain tumor.  If we are cluttered inside and out, how do we learn the lessons that are staring us in the face?  My neighbor enjoyed zebra painted toenails and shopping trips!  I love that :)  It's okay to let the grown up stuff slide occassionally - enjoy being simple.

Stuck inside - Trying to get out...the world of life with a child with mental illness

So, let's get right to it.  I have a child with mental illness and developmental delays.  Actually, he is an adult with mental illness and developmental delays.  We have been on a roller coaster ride for about 6 years now trying to figure out the mysterious, hush hush world of depression, anxiety, Aspergers, ADD and on and on and on.  It can be an isolating illness for the sufferer as well as the family.  Who could possibly understand what we have gone through or the uncertain future we face?  It has been painful, heartwrenching, exhausting and even funny at times.  There was the night that my son told me of his plans to take a knife to school the next day.  I told my then "new" husband and he said, "I'm out!"  I knew he didn't mean it, but it gave us temporary relief from the UNIMAGINABLE reality.  And so, we crossed over from a depressed teenager to the other side of decisions that no parent thinks they will ever have to make.  I am rewarded in knowing that he is God's creation and made as God intended.  I am also grateful that I have been chosen to mother this sweet creation - no matter how hard it is.

Faithfully navigating through this thing called Life

Welcome to my blog!   Looking forward to sharing my life and learning from others.  There is no way to get through life without believing that Jesus died for me and it is only because of His amazing love and gift that I am here to enjoy this beautiful life!  I am a believer and  I am a follower.  Daily life isn't always a piece of cake - there are so many challenges along the way.  But, I am hopeful to find some blogger friends and take on the challenges of life together!